10:05 am
So the ship's left the earth's atmosphere at around 10 am this morning. It was neat.
10:25 am
Kevin told me a few times not to get in the way of the rest of the crew, since the only reason I'm here is my parents funded the trip and I'm of no practical use to this outing whatsoever - at least, that's how he put it. He has the strangest sense of humour.
11:00 am
Barry the engineer told me I'm not meant to distract him while he's working, either. So I switched his monitor over to the galactic hard rock music channel so that he wouldn't be distracted by the sound of the ship's engine. It's the little things I do to help the crew, really. Though after going to the kitchen for a packet of those pork scratchings (with a tub of marmite for dippings, naturally) I came back to find the door was locked on me. I guess Barry went for a very long toilet break or something.
11:35 am
Just had a word with the ship's medical officer, Keith, a man with all the tact and grace of a chimpanzee. Now, I'm no wimp when it comes to the injuries - my experiences on the badminton squad toughened me up a fair bit, at least until I had to step down due to what I thought to be irreparable damage to my toe. That being said, it is not excusable for a ship as well-funded as this to go without hay fever tablets. We are delving into the deepest reaches of unknown space, boldly striving where other people haven't had the money to afford to strive. Who knows what the floral life out there could do to my allergies? Keith seemed to find that funny, for some reason - he actually thought I was joking! I mean, really, who has the nerve to joke about a matter as sensitive as hay fever? He then promptly slapped me in the back (I really ought to report him for assault, but there are certain things a man has to rise above - particularly when it comes to the help, as daddy always said), laughed and told me I was 'alright, kid.' Alright? Kid? The things we have to put up with from these baboons at times, honestly.
12:25 am
We ate luncheon at around 12 or so, though for some reason I wasn't particularly hungry. Of course, I was eating with the crew. Just because I'm in charge of the - I believe Kevin said it was the Mag Guffins recon and relation - doesn't mean I get special privileges. It was nice to be part of the crew, one of the lads, even if I was sat on my own table.
01:00 pm
Went to see the Clarence, security officer aboard this fine vessel. He seems perfectly nice - made a whole bunch of jokes about how he would shoot me without hesitation if I became a liability in combat. He of course knows that I manage to make it past the halfway point of every paintball game I've been involved with (and even come close to getting to the end, sometimes). Add a couple of hilariously realistic mock threats to blow my brains out if I didn't leave him alone, and I think we'll get along splendidly.
3:00 pm
Well, Kevin - or captain, as he apparently wishes to be known - just had a word with the entire crew, detailing our mission and a few ground rules. I wasn't paying much attention - though in fairness, I'm in charge of Mag Guffin recon and relations, I'm sure at least half of those rules don't apply to me. From what I remember, we're headed into space in order to seek out life on other planets and establish contact with them in the name of planet Earth - specifically, with the United Kingdom's planet Earth. Unless they're unfriendly. Then we waste them and hope they don't retaliate against us. Or they're poor. Then we ignore them and hope they don't notice us. Though I'm not here for any of that - daddy says this is supposed to be a learning experience, to make me a proper man. And the best way to do that is go up into space for a few months and meet some nice aliens. Or kill some nasty ones, depending on your luck.
7:30 pm
Honestly, there hasn't been a whole lot to report about the rest of the day. We made it out of our solar system at some point - not sure when exactly. No word yet from any Mag Guffins (I think they may be one of the alien races we've set out to make contact with, possibly the ones behind the technology that built this ship), or any other life so far. It's all been rather dull, I have to say. Everyone's too busy to talk to me - I'm sure the shoe will be on the other foot when we arrive, and I'm busy with communicating with our new alien friends while they're twiddling their thumbs and waiting to go home.
10:30 pm
Lights out, just updating the log. Will try and talk to a few other people tomorrow (the door to the engine room was still locked when I tried again, someone may need to look into that), maybe catch up with Clarence, chat to the pilots and see if they can't teach me to drive this bad boy. Whatever its name is. That might be another thing to do tomorrow - learn the name of the ship! I think it's safe to say I'll be kept fairly busy. Anyways, night-night log. Will chat with you on the morrow, as it were.
